Life is Beautiful

Got this email today May 2, 2009…

An Angel says, ‘Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn’t happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.’

‘If God is for us, who can be against us?’

(Romans 8:31)

After checking my patients Vital Signs (which were all normal meaning no one is suffering from High Blood Pressure, Irregular Heart Rhythms, Fever, Breathlessness and Oxygen Deficiency), I gave them all their night pills and tucked them into bed. Next I checked all their laboratory and radiology results in the computer. So far everything really looks so good. No one needed an order for Blood Transfusion or Potassium Replacement. I thought, “Aaaah! This is the good life!”

At 23:00, a patient placed a call. He was complaining of headache again. After checking his Vital Signs again, I told him, no Morphine for him. “You need to start taking tablets rather than shots because when you go home, you will not be given Morphine. We need to get you the right pain medication that you will be using at home.”

At 03:00, the same patient called again. He wants another pain medication for headache. He got the same medication.

Then at 05:00, the same patient called again. “I feel screwed up”. (In my head, “Don’t we all?”). He further said, “I never felt so awful in my life. What is happening to me?”. So I explained that it could be the new pain medication that was causing that. So he started blaming me for making him feel that way. I said, ” you see… that’s the whole point. We have to try you on this new medications here in the hospital because if anything happens, we could fix it straight away. If you did this medication trials at home, then I bet it will make it so much more excruciatingly difficult for you.”

I called the doctor after that and discussed the patients reaction to the new medication. The doctor who was known to be very grumpy when being called during the unholy hours was actually very nice and actually listened to everything I had to say.

I thought, now this is so easy. I have 4 stable patients and only 1 unstable patient which is an actually easy, piecy, cheesy one to fix. Then I have a doctor who was very cooperative and did not give me the run-around. The patient expressed his relief after a few minutes.

At 6:00 in the morning, he called again. “Nurse, I’m really screwed up this time.” After determining what was the problem, I realized, it was time to become a brave little Filipina nurse again. “Arggh! Is there ever a night, I will not do this?”, I asked myself. Bravely, I told my patient, “Sorry but I will have to give you this suppository.” He asked nervously, “Do I really need that? Is it painful?”. I replied, “Yes, you really need it, and yes, it is painful. But think about this… NO PAIN, NO GAIN! Now don’t be such a big baby. Lie on your left side and bend your knees!”

The other night while making my hourly rounds on my patients at 4 o’clock in the morning, I noticed one of them looking so pale and still. Panic started to surge… Aaaaargh!!!! Did I give her too much pain meds??? Damnit! It could not be! I only gave her one dose for the past 8 hours compared to the previous nights when she was getting one shot every 2 hours. No way! Just no way can she be dead! Her hands were so cold and I could not feel her pulse!!! I could not see her breathing. I called her name, she was not responding. I shook her shoulders she wouldn’t wake up. I pressed and shook her chest vigorously. Then she opened her eyes and smiled at me. She said “Hi Caroline…” I answered back “Hi Violet (not her real name), wakey-wakey!! YOUR PHONE IS RINGING…”

My sister broke the news to me yesterday. And until now, I am utterly devastated. I have loved his songs. I remember playing his songs over and over again while I was in my bed feeling alone, or feeling in love, or simply feeling dreamy. His music is so beautiful.

The Mike Francis CDs I had left in the Philippines were sadly lost after I had left for England. I remembered bidding and winning a Mike Francis CD in London for £70.oo in an attempt to get myself back the CD collection I had of his music. I had never spent so much for a CD. The other bidder I almost want to strangle. I was almost telling him to give it up coz I have £100.oo to spend that day. Luckily, he eventually gave up the CD for me which I still have up to this time. It will be travelling with me across continents and time as long as I live.

Thank you Mike Francis for your music. I feel so honored to have lived in your generation and have experience your beautiful music.  Addio.

Here’s a bit of advice for new Filipino RNs coming to America especially the females… I know how soooo caring and sweet we are to our patients but beware! You could land yourself into trouble because of your oooh sooo caring and sweet ways!

First, don’t smile oh tooo sweetly to non-Filipino people you meet. My colleague learned the hard way. Normally, Filipinos flash their most beautiful smiles to everybody. So this was what she always does at work. Then one time, she received a letter from one of the sons or probably a daughter of one of her patients telling my colleague that she “saw” an “attraction” or a “spark” between her dad (the patient) and my colleague. My colleague was so irked, she never smiled again.

Secondly, when you want to get your patients back on their feet, don’t act like a cheerleader for them but GET TOUGH instead. Don’t say… “Com’on, you can do it! A little bit more… There you go! Yeah! You’re great!!!” Sorry RNs but NOPES that is soooo WRONG!!! Your patient will just fall in love with you and will do these things because he thinks you have a connection with each other and he wants to impress you. The best way to get them up… “By this time, you should be up on your feet and walking and getting your butt off that chair/bed!!! GET UP AND MOVE THOSE BALLS NOW!” Actually, the last sentence… you really shouldn’t say that! Hahahah! You wish you could!

Thirdly, don’t compliment the nice body of your colleagues or your patients. Just keep them to yourselves. Coz if you did say something like this… “Can you help me lift my patient? Nice muscles by the way.” You are totally flirting! Some guy answered back, “I’m already married, sorry.” Now in your head, you are probably cursing because that is not what you meant. I told you!!!

I remembered the first time I met Nora. I think it was in August of 1998. Yeah, it’s been 10 years since I met this girl. I was actually looking for something to get busy with away from the stress of my dad, his business and my business (they were all interlinked). Not to mention, I was getting really bored with my social life in Baguio. When all my friends were getting married and having kids, I was there sulking at being young, free and single WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT WORK.

I saw an ad in Baguio Midland Courier of a dance studio offering Hula and Tahitian dance classes. Hmmm, I thought it wasn’t bad to move this hips again and learn about some enchanting ancient culture. Off I went and enrolled myself.

There I met Nora. She was this young girl with shiny long black hair with twisted curls. I thought she was gorgeous and smart. After the enrollment and a short lovely chat, she asked me what I was doing that night. I replied, “Nothing really.” She said, “Well, I have some girlfriends and we are going out. It would be nice for you to come along.” Hmmm, here they go again I thought. They think I was their age and still love to party. So anyway, I turned the invite down as I thought it was out of my league.

The next time we saw each other was during Hula class. She told me she was going out again with her girlfriends and I should really join them coz it will be so much fun. Hmmmm, I thought this time it might be nice coz I can’t be waiting forever for my other girlfriends till their kids grow up before I can have some fun again.

So I went to her place that night and met the other girls Yvonne, Michelle and Redj. Nora then introduced me to her boyfriend Mike and Mike’s brothers Ric and Alec. Hmmm, I thought Ric was really cute. After a few card and pool games we decided to hit the clubs.

I know I can dance but it’s been awhile. So I was sort of the reluctant dance clubber really. I thought, I’d just rather sit there, smoke and drink and watch Nora and the other girls dance. As I was watching her get on the dance floor, I saw her suddenly took the dance floor BY STORM! Geez! I like that. She’s an amazing dancer! After a few drinks, I found my feet following Nora to the dance floor. Hahaha! Whatever! This girl is so cooool!

Since then, me and Nora was inseparable. Since we were both managing businesses of our families, we had lots of time to hang-out together. We go out all night. Sleep until 9 am. Work til 4 pm and get together for coffee at Amadeus before I hit the gym. Go home and eat dinner. After dinner, meet up again.

Being with Nora is like a breathe of new life. I was the most rigid person ever before I met her. I was the most hated person in my dad’s company. I fired an employee guiltlessly on my first week at work and demanded discipline to a high standard. Then I met Nora. She probably doesn’t know how much she has changed my life. I learned to have fun again. I had a cold cold frozen heart. Nora turned me around into a warm-hearted person again. There is so much more about her. I am so lucky she has invited me to her life. Not only is she beautiful outside but inside as well.

TO MY MOST WONDERFUL BESTFRIEND NORA, CHEERS TO YOU!!! HOPE YOU HAVE THE MOST LOVELY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION YET. I WILL SEE YOU SOON. LOVE YAH!

Happy birthday girl!

We moved to America hoping we will have a more comfortable life than that we had in England. Four years and four months later, I think we did well. We have a fairly comfortable life. We are living closely with my family. I could give away a few bucks once in awhile to my family back in the Philippines. My job is very stable. I have a healthy son and husband. I’m quite healthy too. We go on holidays every now and then. If anything happens to me, my son will be alright. He will still be able to go to Oxford or Cambridge University after high school.

Investment-wise, we only have the 401K in America which we have stopped paying for a year ago. We thought about investing elsewhere a few times but we sort push it out of the way. And I am soooo glad we did! The other night, my husband told me that his friend, who has invested hundreds of thousands of $$$ in stocks and bonds, was just withdrawing all his money but was told that his account was frozen indefinitely.

My colleague, who owns a few houses in the bay area, and investments in the stock market, is in the brink of loosing it all. And now she has to work hard to pay off everything and hopefully get to keep her properties. Her money in the stock market is gone. She sadly says, she has been getting sleepless nights and hypertension because of these. She said, all her hard work of 15 years are all gone. I quote these words from her… “I worked hard, put most of my money in the bank, then IT ALL BECAME PLAY MONEY.” Her mom from the Philippines asks her for money. She wanted to say that she has no more money but all she said was “OK Mama.”

I want to comfort her. I told her that it’s alright to be poor at this time because everybody is. Nothing is safe for another 10 years or so. Besides, these are only material things. The more she worried. She asked me how in world is she gonna retire when there are more to bills to pay and no retirement money to look forward to. So I decided to shut up coz I know this “It’s-only-material-things” lecture is not really getting into her.

Looking at all this happenings, I am so anti-Bush. I think he is the devil of all evil. I think God is trying to send this message… “I AM TAKING EVERYTHING AWAY BECAUSE YOU ARE USING IT FOR WAR AND GREED FOR POWER.” There is no good in war. What are we trying to achieve in war? PEACE??? Bush you gotta be kidding! McCain is going in the same direction. Even if Obama wins (who seems to be the stronger candidate), there will still be a lot of work to be done. He needs to repair the war in Iraq. He needs to repair the economy. He needs to repair the world and bring people together (Muslims, Christians, Jews and North Koreans-Hehe! Don’t know where to categorize them. I have a feeling North Koreans are a threat to world peace. I just pray that the good Lord will be behind the next president and guide him through. I hope that the Pope and the next president will work hand in hand for world peace. THAT’S OUR ONLY HOPE!

I’m writing this blog for my friends who constantly ask me what Lee can eat and what to avoid. Every time we visit a friend or relative, they are always so eager to serve some nice food for Lee to eat. But they get disappointed when Lee wouldn’t touch any of those. Not being disrespectful to our hosts but this doesn’t mean that Lee doesn’t like the food. He just can’t have it. He has a condition called “Celiac Disease”. In England, it is spelled “Coeliac Disease”.

Celiac is basically intolerance to gluten. So that means, anything with WHEAT, BARLEY, MALT and RYE, Lee can not have. Examples of these are PASTA and BREAD. But it isn’t as easy as that. Most processed food have gluten in it so Lee can only eat FRESH food. And to make it even more safe for my baby Lee, they have to be ORGANIC. Why??? Oh why??? Oh gosh, isn’t this complicated? Organic foods are foods produced WITHOUT the use of pesticides, sewage sludge, artificial fertilizers and human waste.

If he eats any of these, he gets something like a really bad hangover and really bad case of gastric flu for at least 3 days. And if uncontrolled, could lead to stomach cancer.

So now, that you know the basics of Lee’s diet, you know that I (as his wife) only goes to the organic section of the grocery store. Anything outside that area is not for Lee.

Just like any other person, Lee has his own preferences. With his very limited diet, he even can afford to have preferences. Did you just say “WHAT THE *#$%???” Actually, yes, I got very frustrated in the beginning too. But! I eventually got the hang of it. Back to his preferences, for organic veggies, he only eats carrots, peas, broccoli, potatoes. Then for meats, he only eats pork chop (without the fat) and NY strip steak (very lean please!). Don’t you even think about seafood! He doesn’t like seafood. As he always says… “I don’t like any food that stares back at me.”

Now, that I’ve told you what we can buy from the grocery store, it’s time to tell you how to prepare it. The steak or pork chop can be spiced with GARLIC POWDER, SALT and BLACK PEPPER only. (DO NOT use WHITE pepper because apparently, according to Lee, it has some additives which could probably be gluten-based.) The meat then has to be oven-baked to VERY WELL-DONE at 450 degrees for 30 mins. He doesn’t like it grilled or oven-toastered because they make the meat tough. True! Then top it off with fried onion rings.

To prepare onion rings is quite easy. It can be fried just as we normally do. BUT do not use any kind of oil. Use only OLIVE OIL. Apparently, corn oil is bad for him. It gives him migraine . So we stayed away from any other kind of vegetable oil because they probably are a derivative of corn.

To prepare his veggies is EASY. Just boil them in Spring Water for 15 mins. (Not tap water please because tap water has trace amounts of medicines.) Sprinkle some salt and they should be ready to serve.

For his drink, he only drinks Lipton Decaf Tea (not green tea) brewed in boiled Spring Water for 2 mins. Add 2 teaspoons of white sugar and it should be perfect for my baby.

If you find this quite a bit of a challenge, you might just want to serve him Organic Bananas and a nice cup of tea and he should be fine. If you want to learn more about “Silly Yaks”, follow this link. Have a nice day!

Where I work now is okay. Okay to me is an I’m-not-really-happy-working-here kind of feeling. Maybe because I have worked in quite a few hospitals in my nursing career that I could compare and make authoritative comments about the hospitals where I have worked.

I currently work in Calif. Parang Pinas where I work. There are a lot of Filipino nurses. Kulang na lang are the Filipino doctors. Actually, I noticed that there are more Bombay MDs (which I pronounce “bom-bye” not “bom-bae”) in the US. Wish there are more Filipino doctors coz I truly believe in our own Filipino doctors. I have worked with them during my Makati Med days after graduation and I was so impressed. There was nothing like them. I guess it’s the Filipino blood flowing in them that they are most fulfilled when they treat the health of their own people IN OUR OWN COUNTRY.

Second (and super tinding inis ko) characteristic of working in Calif is that the managers are very rude parang Pinas. I constantly moan about this at work but no one seems to understand. So now, I am moaning in my blog space (WHAT THE F@#&!). I often ask my colleagues why the managers in Calif are like that.

Example, I needed to undergo TB Screen Test every year. But this time, I was exposed to a TB patient without precautionary measures. So did a lot of other RNs. Anyway, I got an e-mail from my manager… “Caroline, you need to go to Occupational Health for the TB Screen Test. OR ELSE WE WILL SUSPEND YOU!” I printed a copy and passed it around. I told everyone, “THIS IS HARASSMENT. TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE AND RUDE.” Everyone just laughed at me. (Well, they did not really laugh but it felt that way.) So I had to explain myself harder to them… “You know, she didn’t have to say she will suspend me coz even if she did not say that, I’m gonna do it anyway because THAT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY not because I don’t wanna be suspended. She is treating me like a toddler. She did not need to threaten me with suspension.” Tapos my colleagues said to me, “Caroline, that’s the way managers really are.” Sabi ko, “Where’s our dignity? Is it totally extinct now? We loose our dignity na nga with our patients. Tapos our managers are even treating us like crap.” So no comment na sila. They’d rather drink coffee than discuss this sad reality. All the more I felt like I was working in a 3rd world country. Then I told my colleagues that this does not happen in Florida. If they even just have a hint of harrassment in their communications, OW! Patay sila, they will be accused of being RACIST. In England, that e-mail will be considered BARBARIC and will be subjected to administrative investigations and I will even get a public apology.

Oh well, I guess I have to tolerate all this kase my family is here naman ni Calif and they pay top money here naman… BUT I’M STILL SOOO NOT STAYING HERE FOREVER!!!